


Out of Your Imagination

by TwistingMoonbeam



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party (Band)
Genre: F/M, Magical Realism, Original Characters - Freeform, attitude city au, ninja sex party
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-05-11 09:38:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5622637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistingMoonbeam/pseuds/TwistingMoonbeam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a mysterious place called Attitude City, the sun never rises, no wall is left free of graffiti, and the people can’t be trusted. Despite it all, Attitude City is ruled over by Ninja Sex Party, a dynamic due unlike anything the world has ever seen. Composed of leather-clad Danny Sexbang and knife-wielding Ninja Brian, Ninja Sex Party lights up twenty-two-year old Maisie Tadd’s dreams for four nights straight.<br/>But on night five, Attitude City is no longer a dream, and the danger has become crazy fuckin’ real, albeit very strange. But maybe an adventure with Ninja Sex Party won’t so bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Prologue

Yeah, I know nobody knows  
Where it comes and where it goes  
I know it's everybody's sin  
You got to lose to know how to win  
— “Dream On” – Aerosmith 

_The first night was, for lack of a better word, fricking rad.  
Maisie remembered blue and purple strobe lights, and a moon as crooked and bright as the Cheshire cat’s smile that pouted and wore sunglasses. Had she been dancing, running, or a weird combination of both? The verbs were a blur, but the nouns were pronounced, stark against a white background. Maisie couldn’t remember names, but she recalled a city, gloomy and alive, dangerous and tempting, standing out against the black skyline like a row of jagged teeth.  
 **x.X.x.**  
The second night brought a name: Attitude City.  
Strange name, Maisie remembered thinking. But she hadn’t questioned it, too busy frolicking the streets with two guys she’d just met. Smoke had curled around her ankles, the streetlights lining her path as the three of them zigzagged between cars, fire hydrants, and decaying mailboxes. They’d told her they were Attitude City’s greatest heroes, ruling the town with iron fists. Well, the tall one with the crazy hair had told her; his partner hadn’t said a word.  
“I’m Danny Sexbang,” he’d explained with a flourishing hand. “This is Ninja Brian. We’re Ninja Sex Party. You’re welcome.”  
Weird, Maisie had thought.  
 **x.X.x.**  
The third night brought danger.  
Maisie had been with Ninja Sex Party and two of their friends, ‘Tude Bro and ‘Tude Dude, in an alley. Danny’s leather jacket had shone slickly under the weak lighting, his fingers long and nimble as he lit his cigarette with what was basically a tiny explosion. He’d offered her one. Maisie remembered feeling conflicted, torn between listening to her father’s ever-constant warnings against smoking and her curiosity to see what smoking in a dream was like. Before she could reply, three guys had emerged from the shadows and pulled out switchblades.  
Maisie had been alarmed. She hadn’t figured out the mechanics of dreaming yet, and couldn’t conjure her own weapon fast enough. But just as one goon’s blade had jabbed at her, Danny had been there, blocking with the knife with his silver, spiked gauntlet and punching the guy out in one swing. The guy’s two friends had run off immediately, and Danny had turned to her, plucking the knife out of his gauntlet and tossing it into the trash.  
“You okay, doll?” he’d asked. “You look freaked.”  
Nodding, Maisie raised a hand to her face. Her cheeks were flushed and hot, and her heart was thudding madly.  
 **x.X.x.**  
The fourth night had been calmer.  
Maisie and Danny had been sitting atop Attitude Cliffs, laughing together at a story Danny was telling about a time he’d tried picking up a girl.  
“A dragon slayer?” Maisie had asked. “Seriously?”  
“I was desperate,” Danny laughed. “I thought it sounded impressive!”  
“Sure, sure. I’m swooning at the thought of you fighting an army of karate bears.”  
“They all do, sweetheart. They all do.”  
They were quiet for a moment, gazing out upon the city. The sky was orange above them as the sun set, a nice change from Attitude City’s usual foggy gloominess.   
“You know you’re asleep right now, right?” Danny said. “You’re dreaming.”  
“Yeah, I know,” replied Maisie, shrugging a little. “I’ve known since night one. You’re just a figment of my imagination. This whole city is.”  
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Danny said, chuckling. “I may ride straight out of your imagination, but this time’s different.” His face darkened. “I don’t want you to come back, Maisie.”  
There was a flash of hurt in Maisie’s chest. Dick, she wanted to shout at him. Even if you are a dream…  
“But not because you’re not totally awesome,” Danny went on. “But the city…she’s dangerous, man. She does stuff to you. Makes you feel strength that’s not real, you know? She plays tricks.”  
“Why does it matter?” Maisie asked in a huff. “None of this is real. You’re not real.”  
“Oh, Maisie,” Danny sighed as he was enveloped in a sudden spark of white light. “You’re in for one rude awakening, baby girl.”_


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I daydream for hours it seems  
I keep thinkin' of you, yeah, thinkin' of you  
These daydreams, what do they mean?  
They keep haunting me, are they warning me?  
\- “Head Games” - Foreigner

Maisie’s eyes burst open, her lungs filling with air as she sucked in a sudden breath. She slowly sat up in bed, noticing with a groan that it was seven twenty-two in the morning.   
_Fourth night in a row_ , she thought, flopping back onto her pillows. _And my first class isn’t until eleven…ugh._  
“Good morning to you, too, grumpy gills.”  
Maisie glanced over at Stephanie, the girl she shared the double bedroom with in their four-person apartment. Stephanie was sitting at her desk, a bagel in one hand and a book of poetry in the other.  
“Oh, that’s right, you have an eight a.m.,” said Maisie, bringing her blanket up to her chin. “On behalf of all college students, I humbly apologize.”  
Stephanie laughed and closed her her laptop. “Apologies not necessary. You know I’m an early bird.” She frowned. “Either my singing in the shower woke you up, or you had another weird dream.”  
“That would be the latter,” Maisie mumbled.  
“What’d you and the Sexy Ninja gang do this time?” Stephanie asked, biting into her bagel. “Did you save the local orphanage from bankruptcy with the power of _rock and roll_?”  
Maisie had to laugh, because it was actually a concept Danny would believe in. “Ninja Sex Party. And last night’s dream was especially weird.” She furrowed her brow. “It was just me and Danny…talking.”  
“About what?” Stephanie asked, legitimately interested.  
“He was super meta.” Maisie rolled over and propped her head up with her arm. “He knew we were in a dream, but he didn’t want to admit he wasn’t real. He also told me about a time he tried picking up a girl by telling her he had slayed a dragon.”  
“Like a real man,” Stephanie laughed.  
Maisie suddenly frowned, a strange hollowness in her stomach. “He told me not to come back.”  
“What? To Sassy City or whatever?” Stephanie flipped through her poetry book, opening to a bookmarked page.   
“To _Attitude_ City,” Maisie enunciated. “He said…it was dangerous or something.”  
“Maybe it’s your subconscious speaking to you,” suggested Stephanie. “It’s telling you that hot guys are trouble and to focus on your schoolwork.”  
Maisie considered. “Nah,” she said, returning to her sleeping position. “I don’t think it’s saying that. Have fun in class.”  
Stephanie snorted, grabbing her backpack and yanking on a pair of sneakers. “Have fun with Donnie Sexbanger.”  
 _Danny_ , Maisie corrected mentally, but as Stephanie slipped silently out the door, Maisie quickly fell back to sleep.  
 **x.X.x.**  
Thursdays were easy for Maisie. As a college senior in her last semester, all she really had left were free electives and miscellaneous required courses before she’d finally have a bachelor in Health Sciences. After her eleven a.m. psych class, she went to meet her friends at their usual spot for lunch before her next class.   
Maisie was the last to arrive— _no thanks to Professor Jenkins dragging out lecture an extra five minutes_ , she thought, annoyed. But her usual group of Stephanie and Riisha were waiting for her at their spot inside the campus center, caught up in another ranting session about their philosophy class.  
“I swear, if Ricky doesn’t have his part of the project done by _tomorrow_ —oh, hi, Maisie!” Riisha said, snapping out of her tirade to smile brightly.  
Maisie laughed, setting down her backpack. “Don’t let me interrupt. Everyone needs a good rant every once in a while. Is Donna on her way?”  
“She’s getting food,” Stephanie said, jabbing a thumb at the cafeteria down the hall. “She invited someone to sit with us, if that’s okay.”  
“That’s cool,” Maisie replied. “Anyone we know?”  
“She’s an architecture student like Donna, so I don’t think so,” Riisha said, tying back her black hair. “Angie Davidson? Oh, there they are now.”  
Maisie’s other friend Donna appeared with a tall, lean girl whose blonde hair was braided over one shoulder. Donna said, “Maisie! How’s it hanging, you beautiful bitch?”  
Donna, with her short, black bob haircut and preference for plaid skirts, had always reminded Maisie, superficially, of a cute, Catholic schoolgirl. And then Donna would open her mouth, and that perception would change instantly.   
“I’m great, Donna,” Maisie laughed. “And yourself?”  
“Not bad! I’d like to introduce you to Angie here,” Donna said, sweeping her hand toward the girl to her right who was opening her salad. “I just met her in studio this morning. Wouldn’t you know it, she hates it just as much as me!”  
“That’s a tough record to beat,” Riisha mused. “Donna’s hatred is in _Ripley’s Believe It or Not!_ , if you didn’t know.”  
“It’s nice to meet a record-breaker,” Maisie said. “I’m Maisie Tadd.”  
The five of them chatted for a while, moaning over homework, projects, and their least favorite professors. Angie was shy, but they managed to get some basic information out of her, like her academic focus on architecture, her love for softball, and her abhorrence to seafood.  
“Would you believe it, this baby was only ten bucks!” Donna told the group proudly, gesturing to her new blouse.  
“I mean, it definitely looks nice on you,” said Maisie, shrugging. “But turtlenecks really aren’t my thing. I hate how strangled I feel in them.”  
“Then what _is_ your thing, Miss Tadd?” Donna asked teasingly.   
And then Stephanie said, “Attitude City.”  
A light hush fell over the table. Angie looked at Maisie with a confused expression. “Attitude City?”  
“Hell yeah, Attitude City,” Donna said, smirking. “Let’s just say Maisie’s mind hasn’t been here with us all week. She’s been frolicking with hot guys in her dreams.”  
Angie raised a cautious eyebrow.  
“Let me explain,” Maisie cut in, “before my friends here ruin the magic.” She took a tiny breath. “So, okay, it sounds really weird, honestly. For the past few nights—four nights, to be exact—I’ve had these crazy vivid dreams about this imaginary place called Attitude City. It’s this gloomy, wicked, beautiful city in the middle of nowhere with smoke and fog and super tall buildings.”  
“Whoa,” said Angie, clearly mystified.  
“Don’t stop there!” Stephanie urged, pointing at Maisie with her fork. “Tell her about the sexy ninjas!”  
“Now you’ve lost me,” Angie giggled.  
“For the last time, they’re not sexy ninjas,” Maisie said, rolling her eyes.   
“Perhaps not,” said Donna mysteriously, “but they are Attitude City’s wildest and greatest protectors. Defenders of sexuality, bringing boning to the masses!”  
“She’s making that last part up,” Maisie told Angie. “…kind of.”  
“That’s crazy,” Angie said, tucking a loose blonde strand behind her ear and leaning in with interest. “And you’ve never heard of these guys or this place before?”  
“Never in my life,” Maisie promised. “And I’ve only every dreamed about it all starting on Monday and continuing on into last night.”  
“Speaking of which: what happened last night?” Donna demanded. “These dreams are my new soap operas.”  
“It was boring,” Stephanie answered before Maisie could. “She and Danny just talked.”  
“Hmm,” said Donna. “More _Danny_ and less _Sexbang_ , huh?”  
Maisie’s face went red. “They’ve never been _those_ kinds of dreams.”  
“Not yet,” Donna sang, biting into her hamburger. “You’ve still got tonight, honey.”  
Maisie rolled her eyes. “Sure, sure.” But her palms had begun to sweat at the very idea of her and Danny… _yeesh_. Subtly tugging at her collar, she continued, “But he told me not to come back to Attitude City.”  
“Seriously?” said Riisha. “How anticlimactic.”   
“A little,” Maisie admitted.  
“But you’re gonna go back anyway, right?” Donna asked.  
“I mean…” Maisie sat back in her chair, thinking. “I don’t know if I have a choice. I don’t choose to go there. I just do. I mean, I made it all up, right? They’re all just…dreams.”  
“Well, that’s no fun,” Donna said, pouting. “Well, if you do go back, I want an update first thing tomorrow morning, alright?”  
“Yes, ma'am,” Maisie laughed.  
The day passed uneventfully, and Maisie couldn’t help but be a little excited for bedtime. Whatever the dreams meant, they were mysterious and silly, enthralling and fun. Much more exciting than her regular life, where things only got crazy when there was a _Cupcake Wars_ marathon on TV somewhere. So later that night, after slaving over homework until her eyes burned, bookmarking a new recipe for lemon cookies on her laptop, spending two hours calming her older brother Theo when he thought he’d accidentally deleted an essay off his computer, and trying to work on a new song that had been itching in the back of her mind with her guitar, Jimmy, Maisie finally pulled on her favorite silk panda pajamas and got comfy in bed. When she finally drifted off, she prepared herself for what she could see when she arrived in Attitude City.  
But when Maisie woke up the next morning, she couldn’t remember any dreams at all.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I see your face every time I dream  
On every page, every magazine,  
So wild, so free, so far from me  
You’re all I want, my fantasy  
\- “Photograph” – Def Leppard

“Are you serious?!”  
Maisie winced as Donna shrieked. She loved Donna, but nine o’clock in the morning was too early to be screamed at. “Yup. Zip. Nada. I didn’t have _one_ dream last night.”  
They were on their way to their nine-thirty Friday morning European History class, and despite the freedom that would come with the upcoming weekend, Maisie felt completely bummed. The previous night hadn’t brought a single dream of Attitude City, Danny, or Ninja Brian. Of course, there really wasn’t anything to be truly upset about, but for some reason, Maisie felt almost hurt, as if she’d been stood up on a date.   
Donna sipped at her coffee, scowling as a gust of wind swept her umbrella back. “Today sucks,” she hissed. “My coffee is burnt, the weather is insane, and I don’t even have any juicy Attitude City stories to get me through this class!”  
Maisie smiled wearily. A terrible thunderstorm raged overhead, the sky swirling with angry gray clouds. “It’s so weird,” she commented. “It was supposed to be sunny today…”  
“Let’s just get this over with,” Donna grouched. “I want to go back to the apartment and sleep.”  
They entered one of the newer school buildings on campus and went right to their classroom. Professor O’Reilly was scrawling that day’s topics on the board in yellow chalk, the edges of his blue button-up sticking out of his pants.  
“Are you disappointed?” Donna asked as they sat next to each other in the back row.  
Maisie shrugged and ran a hand through her blonde curls. Her index finger poked through the pink streak she’d gotten a couple months ago while still on winter break. “I…guess? It was just a little upsetting. I’d gotten so used to seeing the city in my dreams…a night without it just felt so boring.”  
“A night without him, you mean,” Donna said, wiggling her eyebrows.  
Maisie flushed and lightly punched Donna’s arm just as Professor O’Reilly began class.   
“We’ll start today with a PowerPoint presentation I’ve created about the state of government in early twentieth century Austria,” he said, adjusting his polka-dotted bowtie. “And then we’ll move onto its other features, like cuisine, economy, and important cultural aspects.”  
To her right, Donna made a gagging motion, and Maisie hid a giggle behind her hand. As Professor O’Reilly began his lecture, she leaned her chin into her hand and gazed out the window. A shock ran through her as images of tall, shadowy skyscrapers and colorful scrawls of graffiti clogged her vision. She was brought back to reality a moment later as the rain picked up outside, peppering against the glass like pellets of rock.  
 _That was some intense daydreaming_ , thought Maisie, frowning.   
But then it happened again: Maisie blinked, and she was back in Attitude City. Everything was fuzzy, but she could feel the humidity of the fog and the inky puddles on the sidewalk soaking into her combat boots. Someone was shouting her name, their voice making waves in the air shiver under the pink and blue lights—  
Thunder boomed outside, making Maisie flinch as she was yanked back into the classroom. Professor O’Reilly was still droning on about the life expectancies of adults in Austria, and Donna had fallen asleep on her notebook.   
Goosebumps ran up and down Maisie’s arms. Taking a deep breath, she shut her eyes again and felt the world darken under the black skyline of Attitude City. She put her hand against a wall, feeling the cold stone of a building under her touch.  
 _This is…real?_ Maisie thought, confused. _How am I doing this? How am I here?_ She glanced around. _Where are Danny and Ninja Brian?_  
Then, from the other side of the street, a pair of glowing red eyes appeared in the shadows. The luster of a long blade shimmered in the weak circle of light provided by the streetlamps as it came into view. Maisie felt her heart drop as a dark figure emerged, making a running start to attack her in fury—  
A bang rang out from the roof, and the classroom was plunged into a dim layer of darkness. The PowerPoint fizzled into blackness, and Professor O’Reilly stopped mid-lecture to blink in surprise at the screen. “Huh. I suppose the storm knocked out the school’s power.”  
There were murmurs from the students, mostly hopeful suggestions that class end early in response to having no power. Donna awoke from her nap with a snort, looking around blearily. “Wha happened?” she mumbled.  
Another bang sounded above them, this one louder and angrier. With a screech, a blade came slicing down through the ceiling, cutting open a circle that was thrown to the side by a set of hands. Two figures were revealed to standing on the roof, their silhouettes stark against the zigzag of lightning that flashed behind them. They jumped down into the classroom and landed on Professor O’Reilly’s desk. One wore a white robe with their hood up, and the other was dressed in white samurai armor.  
“What in God’s name—who are you people?” yelled Professor O’Reilly, approaching them with a shaking fist.  
Without a word, the samurai unsheathed his long blade and pointed it at Professor O’Reilly.  
The other figure put his hood down, revealing a young man with brown hair that swept past his cheeks, a single blonde highlight going down his right half. “I’d appreciate it,” he said quietly, “if you did not yell.”  
A shock of blue energy shot out of the samurai’s sword, striking Professor O’Reilly in the chest, and everything broke into chaos. Students rushed for the door, shoving each other in an attempt to get away from the two visitors. Maisie stumbled to her feet, mind racing on where to hide, but before she could form a proper thought, she met the man’s eyes.  
He stared at her, as if drinking her in, and then smirked. Nudging the samurai, they jumped off the desk and approached her slowly.  
“There you are,” the man drawled. “You’re a bitch to find, you know that?”  
Maisie started to shake, but tried to keep her gaze centered. Her heart was racing and her palms had begun to sweat. “Who are you?” she demanded. “I…I recognize you, somehow.”  
“You don’t remember us?” the man asked, feigning sadness. “Ah, well, that’s to be expected. Let’s go through introductions again, just for fun. The name’s Arin Neverbone.” He jerked his head to his companion. “And that’s Samurai Barry.”  
Maisie made a face. “Why would I remember you lunatics? I’ve never…what are you even doing here? Who are you?”  
“Let’s save the barrage of questions for later,” Arin said, waving his hand lazily. “Barry, grab here and let’s get back to the city.”  
The samurai approached, and lightning glinted off the sharp silver of his blade. Maisie backed up into a desk, her hand floundering for a weapon. Her fingers found her umbrella and she held it out in front of her by the curved handle, scowling. Without the roof, the rain was free to enter the classroom, and Maisie was drenched, the sleeves of her red and blue flannel shirt weighing down her arms.   
Arin laughed at her. “Nice weapon there. I’m sure Barry’s thousand-year-old blade of awesome power will falter against the might of your—”  
In an explosion of plaster and dust, a bright red car burst through the right wall, sending Samurai Barry shooting through the left and out into the rain. There was a moment of quiet, then two heads poked up from the front seats of the car.  
“Uh, this is the place, right?” said a familiar voice.  
Maisie watched in amazement as Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian stood up in the car and wiped dust off their clothes. While Ninja Brian was still in his black ninja uniform, Danny had replaced his leather jacket and faded jeans for a blue jumpsuit with a red star on the chest and an accompanying furry cape, pair of sneakers, and long white socks. There they were, straight out of Maisie’s dreams.   
To reply to Danny’s question, Ninja Brian’s electric blue eyes zeroed in on Maisie, and he pointed at her. Danny followed his finger and blinked at her before grinning.  
"Sup, baby girl?"


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Stories told…  
Two old friends  
Of battle scars and lonely bars  
And nights the rain wouldn't end...  
\- “Ride the Wind” – Poison

Gregory and Theresa Tadd had taught their two children, Theodore Anthony and Maisie Lillian, very early on that manners were important. And Maisie had taken their teachings to heart, always placing her napkin in her lap while eating and saying “please” and “thank you” to everyone she met. But when faced with Ninja Sex Party in the flesh, moments after they had barreled their way into her classroom in the middle of an attack by two crazy people with apparent powers, all she could do was rudely stare, her mouth agape like a dead fish.  
“You two?!” Arin shouted, sneering. “What are _you_ doing here?”  
“Same reason as you, dipshit,” said Danny, throwing his thumb over his shoulder to point to Maisie. “Except we’re gonna be nicer about it.”  
“Uh huh, right,” Arin spit. “Well, looks like this time, it won’t just be your cock we’ll be blocking!”  
Arin leaped six feet air and started zooming downwards, leg raised to stomp Maisie into the ground, but before she could blink, Ninja Brian was in front of her, snatching Arin’s ankle and smashing him into Maisie’s desk. Her notebook, pen, and folder went flying, along with splinters of wood and metal.  
“ _Noice one_ , Ninja Brian,” Danny encouraged, highfiving him. “Don’t murder them yet, though. We have more important matters to attend to!” Then he turned to Maisie and gave another confident, carefree grin. “Long time no see, babe! They didn’t scare you too much, did they? Sorry for the surprise visit, but I thought Ninja Brian was shitting my nuts when he told me they’d come here looking for you…” He paused, waving a hand in front of Maisie’s face. “Uh, babe? Earth to babe?”  
Maisie opened her mouth to demand an explanation. She had a million questions, and was terribly confused about the whole situation. But instead, all that came out of her mouth was a scream.  
Danny winced, his eyes going wide. “Oh shit! You _are_ hurt, aren’t you? Shit, um, I think I might know mouth-to-mouth, if that would help—”  
“YOU’RE REAL!” Maisie shouted. “You’re _both_ real. Oh my gosh…” She felt her knees get shaky, and Ninja Brian grabbed a chair and slid it under her before she could drop.  
“Too much, too soon?” Danny guessed as Maisie lowered her head between her knees.  
Brian held his hands up, as if to say _Hell if I know_. Just then, he did a backbend, narrowly avoiding three small daggers that had just been thrown. Samurai Barry stood in the hole he’d created in the wall when Ninja Sex Party had crashed through the classroom, the war cry he screamed making his white armor vibrate as he held up his sword.  
“Time to go!” Danny said hurriedly. He crouched down to Maisie’s level. “Hey, girl, we gotta blow this dickcicle stand. What do you need?”  
“My…my backpack,” Maisie managed. She shook her head and cleared her thoughts, acknowledging that somehow, for some crazy reason, she was being hunted and had to escape. She got to her feet and grabbed her backpack, which was an ugly dark green due to the rain. She prayed water hadn’t leaked into her laptop. “Can I trust you?” she demanded of him.  
Danny appeared surprised. “Of course you can. We’re mother effing Ninja Sex Party, babe. We got you covered.” A laser shot inches above his head and reduced a portion of the corner into rubble. “You should, like, totally get in the car now, though.”  
Maisie, dodging laser beams from Samurai Barry’s sword as she went, frantically dove into the backseat of the car. Rain was slipping off the leather seats and pooling into the carpeted floor. Danny, in a single jump, got into the driver’s seat and revved the engine. “Lasers,” he complained. “It’s always fuckin’ _lasers_ , man.”  
Somehow, Ninja Brian was already riding shotgun, so Danny starting backing up.  
“Wait,” Maisie objected, leaning forward and grabbing the top of the front two seats. “Aren’t we on the top floor?!”  
“We got lucky on that one,” Danny said. “Or else I would have had to park this baby.”  
Maisie expected the car to fly downwards and for them all to fall to their fiery deaths, but instead, the car remained horizontal, rocket boosters shooting pink and blue fire keeping the car in mid-air. A glass case closed off the top of the car, protecting them from the outside world, and then an extra layer of knobs and buttons was added to the dashboard. Making a K-turn, Danny then shot into the air, zooming over the college campus at a high speed.  
Danny laughed. “We’re like a sexy UFO.”  
“ _What_ is going on?” Maisie demanded, buckling her seat belt. “Who were they?”  
“ _They_ were Samurai Abstinence Patrol,” Danny explained darkly. “Our nemesis. Nemeses? Would that be the correct term? I’m referring to the single patrol, but they’re two dudes…fuck it. They stand for everything we don’t. The yin to our sultry, _fucking sweet_ yang, you know?”  
Maisie stared at him, her chest feeling full of hot air. “It’s really you,” she said, stunned. “From my dreams all week. From Attitude City.”  
Danny smirked. “Glad to see you’re the type to remember dreams,” he told her. “I was afraid you were gonna forget them all once you woke up.”  
“So that was really you guys in my dreams,” Maisie clarified. “Like, I wasn’t dreaming _about_ you. You guys were really there.”  
“Hell yeah, we were.” Danny shook some rain out of his enormous brown fro. “You deserve nothing but the real things, babe.”  
“But…” Maisie made a face. “Why?”  
The world titled as the car-turned-spaceship was struck from behind. Maisie peered through the glass and widened her eyes. Closing in on them was Samurai Abstinence Patrol, Samurai Barry riding on Arin’s back like a surfer. Arin’s arms were stretched out in front of him like Superman as he flew through the air, shooting fireballs out of his palms.  
“What the frick!” Maisie yelled. “He can _fly_?”  
“Apparently,” Danny replied.  
Ninja Brian flipped a switch, and a hidden compartment in the back of the ship opened up, a large black gun emerging. It fired three clean shots, but Maisie was confused.  
“Why are those bullets…pink?” she asked.  
But before her very eyes, the pink bullets exploded before reaching Arin and Barry, drenching them in a foamy, white substance. Even from their ship’s decent distance from them, Maisie could hear their cussing.  
“Not bullets,” Danny sang. “Strawberries filled with cream.”  
“Oh.” Maisie coughed. “Uh, good. I think.”  
Despite their counterattack, Samurai Abstinence Patrol was still gaining on them.  
“We gotta get into space and the hell outta here,” Danny said. “Ninja Brian, switch to lightspeed!”  
Ninja Brian turned some knobs and spun a dial to its maximum. Before he could press the big red button next to it, a body landed on the windshield, making Danny and Maisie cry out in surprise. Samurai Barry got his balance on the front of the car and glared down at them, stabbing his blade through the glass and nearly gutting Danny and Ninja Brian.  
“Shit! Get that fucking sword out of my fucking ride!” Danny shouted.  
Maisie, for the first time in a long time, didn’t think before she acted. Still clutching her purple and white umbrella in an iron grip, she furrowed her brow and hooked the curved end of the umbrella around the tip of Barry’s blade. Gritting her teeth, she lifted up with all her might, dislodging the sword from its indent in the floor. The change in weight caused Barry to lose his grip on the handle, and it fell into the ship and kept Barry outside as he fell flat against the windshield. There was a moment when no one moved, realizing Barry had been separated from his weapon by a thin pane of glass.  
Then Ninja Brian turned on the windshield wipers, throwing Samurai Barry into the open air and out of sight. As the samurai fell, Ninja Brian shot him two middle fingers.  
Danny and Ninja Brian turned in their seats to stare at her in shock. Maisie stared back, as she had shocked herself with her quick thinking. Then Danny let out a happy whoop and laughed. “That. Was. Fucking. _Awesome_ , babe!”  
Maisie released a hysterical bubble of a laugh, looking down at her umbrella. “Holy shit. Looks like this’ll be more useful than I thought.”  
“Alright, alright, enough staring contests,” Danny said, smiling. “Let’s go home.”  
“Home?” Maisie echoed, sitting up. “You don’t mean…?”  
“Oh, baby girl,” Danny replied. “You know _exactly_ what I mean.” He turned to Ninja Brian with a nod. “Ninja Brian, let’s set a course to the most bodacious place we know. Set a course for Attitude City!”  
Ninja Brian pressed the big red button, and Danny slammed down the gas pedal. With a huge burst of power, the spaceship blasted into the sky, and as the world around them grew white and blank, Maisie felt herself leave her old world and enter a new, but familiar, one.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Strapped in the chair of the city’s gas chamber,  
Why I’m here, I can’t quite remember,  
The surgeon general says it’s hazardous to breathe,  
I’d have another cigarette but I can’t see…  
Tell me that you’re gonna believe  
\- “Paradise City” – Guns N’ Roses

Maisie’s dreams hadn’t done the city justice.  
From the moment they had slowed from lightspeed, she could feel Attitude City give her a big, gruff hug. They soared between two towering buildings, the city enveloping the spaceship as if tucking it away behind a black curtain.  
Appropriately, it was nighttime, but the city was still alive and kicking. Neon signs hung in front of restaurants and bars, advertising hot sales and one-night-only deals in blazing pink, blue, and green colors. Maisie could see the faint outlines of people in the streets as they danced, walked, sprinted, and waited in line. The winking antique streetlights lit their path as Danny maneuvered expertly down street after street, finally parking the spaceship in its car form in front of a ramshackle row home in an empty neighborhood at the edge of the city.  
“Home, sweet home,” Danny sighed. “Oh, shit, Ninja Brian, did you want me to drop you off at home now or later? I forgot to ask.”  
Ninja Brian waved a hand nonchalantly, opening his car door.  
“You guys don’t live together?” Maisie asked, and then immediately felt stupid.  
“Nah,” Danny answered. “Too dangerous, what with our insane rep ’round these parts. Nor does he want to live with me. He’s got much better stuff waiting for him back home.”  
Maisie wanted to question more, but shut her trap as Danny opened her door for her. Stepping out into the street, she narrowly avoiding stepping into a puddle and tightened her grip on her backpack as she heard laughter trickle in from the adjacent street.  
“Don’t stress, doll,” Danny advised with a sunny smile. “We’re safe here, for now. Arin Neverbone and Samurai Barry probably have guessed by now that we’re here, but the city is huge. No one knows about our secret hideout except my roommates.”  
“Secret?” Maisie asked, gazing around at the adjoining row homes down the line. “No one sees you guys just casually stroll up to your front door in such an open neighborhood?”  
“I’ll explain inside,” Danny said. “I want to introduce you the rest of the gang, anyway.”  
_‘Tude Bro and ‘Tude Dude?_ Maisie guessed in her head. _Or are there more colorful characters to meet?_  
They went up the front door, its green paint job flaking from old age. The knocker was slightly rusted, and the potted plants set up around the front porch were drooping and shriveled. Danny took out a ring of keys and selected an ancient looking silver one, using it to unlock the door and slightly kicking it open.  
The inside of the place was musty and dark, a long corridor branching off into a dining room, a kitchen, a living room, and a set of stairs that went up to a second floor. Squinting into the dark, Maisie turned the flashlight on her phone on and noticed that the furniture, mirrors, and objects in the row home were covered in a thick layer of dust.  
“You…live here,” she said slowly.  
“Kinda.” Danny gestured for them to follow and went into the kitchen. He pulled a chain hanging from the ceiling and a small light illuminated the kitchen, revealing it to be tiny and abandoned. The counter was without utensils or appliances, only decorated with a bowl of dusty, old fruit. Danny yanked at the dishwasher and opened the wide door. “There we go.”  
Maisie peered uncertainly inside. There weren’t any racks of plates, but just an empty, slanted hole that led into pitch blackness.  
“Come on down,” said Danny, gesturing to the dishwasher as if it was a carnival ride.  
Maisie scrunched up her nose. “I’m not sure what I’m looking at here,” she confessed. “You want me to go _down_ there? Into a hole of unspeakable terror and bone-crushing darkness? Are you _kidding_?”  
A second later, Ninja Brian jumped head-first into the hole, vanishing into the darkness that sloped downward.  
“I promise you, this is totally safe,” Danny said with a chuckle. “Ninja Brian did it, see?”  
“Ninja Brian is a _ninja_ ,” Maisie emphasized, exasperated. “I saw him take down a samurai not twenty minutes ago! _Of course_ he did it!”  
“I promise you, baby girl, everything’s gonna be a-okay.” Danny wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. “Unless, of course, you’d like to go down in my lap. ’Cause, ya know, that’s totally okay.”  
Maisie, despite the craziness and sheer impossibility of the situation, gave a weak laugh. “No, thank you, Mr. Sexbang. I’ll put on my big girl pants and jump into the unknown hole of death on my own.”  
“That’s the spirit!” Danny said.  
Taking a deep breath and saying a quick prayer, Maisie held her backpack against her chest and jumped. She immediately went into a sitting position and felt herself sliding down a long slanted plane. After five seconds of sliding, she crashed into a pool of cold, dry objects that made a familiar noise.  
Maisie blinked and couldn’t help but laugh. “Is this a fucking _ball pit_?”  
Ninja Brian helped her out of the ball pit just as Danny came sliding down, giggling all the way. “See?” he asked her. “Nothing to be scared of!”  
“You’ve reached a new low,” Maisie said, smiling. “A ball pit? Are you legit?”  
“That rhymed,” Danny mused as he climbed out, tossing rogue balls out of his jumpsuit.  
“Typical Dan move,” a voice said from behind them. “Getting caught with plastic balls in his pants.”  
‘Tude Bro, ‘Tude Dude, and a girl Maisie had never seen before approached, loose smiles gracing their faces. ‘Tude Bro and ‘Tude Dude were dressed in the same leather jackets, jeans, and sunglasses from when Maisie had met them. The girl was tall and pale, her eyes accented with the best eyeliner job Maisie had ever seen. She wore all black: a leather pencil skirt, a leather vest over a long-sleeved cotton shirt, and a bow on top of her head that resembled bat wings. Her sleek, dark hair nearly covered her right eye and hung loose on her right shoulder.  
“Hey, guys!” Danny greeted them with a grin.  
“You’re home late,” noted ‘Tude Bro. “Well, later than usual.”  
“And you brought…” ‘Tude Dude gasped, his hands reached up to grab his curly, dark hair. “Yo! Is that Maisie?”  
And then everyone’s eyes were on her.  
“Um,” Maisie said. “Hey.”  
“Maisie! Sup?” ‘Tude Dude held out his hand for a low-five. “Welcome to the city _for realz_ , brah.” He gestured to the woman next to him. “This is Suzy, the coolest cat you'll ever meet.”  
“ _Finally_ , another girl,” Maisie joked, shaking Suzy’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Suzy.”  
“Same to you, on all accounts,” Suzy said, smiling. “How are you coping with the change in scenery?”  
“I think I’m okay,” Maisie said. “I actually kind of like it. It’ll just…take some getting used to.”  
‘Tude Dude highfived her, and she was happy to find more people Danny trusted, but her attention was immediately snatched away. The secret passageway in the dishwasher had dumped them smack-dab in a moderately-sized, dark blue and white-colored living room that also doubled as a nerd’s paradise. The opposite wall was entirely eclipsed by a bookshelf of video game cases, a flat-screen television in the corner connected to an array of video game consoles. Two black, leather couches made a half moon near the TV, a glass coffee table before them with a pair of crumpled purple slippers thrown to the side. A tapestry on the wall listed off all the Pokemon from the PokeRap in a colorful, decorative design, and there was a neon sign plugged in on the wall near the TV that read O’Donovan’s Pub.  
“Woooooow,” Maisie drawled, eyes wide. She looked at Danny. “You guys _live_ here?”  
“’Tude Dude and I do. ‘Tude Bro and Suzy live next door,” Danny explained. “You…like it?”  
“Well, it’s nicer than upstairs,” Maisie quipped. “What’s the deal?”  
“Well, babe, although superheroes have to live in secret, that doesn’t mean they can’t live in style,” Danny answered brightly. “Let’s say someone follows us home and sees us go inside the building upstairs. They go inside, and _bam_! They’re hit with an abandoned dust bowl. Little do they know, we actually live down here! Nice and quiet, suave and sexy. Everything Danny-boy likes.”  
Maisie raised an eyebrow. “Right…I think. Anyway, now that things have calmed and we’re somewhere safe, I’d like to know how you know those two lunatics and why the frick they attacked me.”  
“Lunatics?” ‘Tude Bro asked.  
Danny became solemn. “Samurai Abstinence Patrol went after her in the Reality Realm.”  
“What?” ‘Tude Dude demanded, his sunglasses shining. “But why?”  
Danny shrugged. “Kevin intercepted a string of messages sent by some goons we had a bad interaction with once to Samurai Abstinence Patrol. These reports gave word of a mission the saps were on to kidnap a target that eerily sounded like Maisie, so we beat them to it.” He frowned. “Not the kidnapping part, though. She came by her own decision.” “But why me?” Maisie said, furrowing her brow. “How would they even _know_ about me?”  
Everyone else exchanged a glance, and it made Maisie’s stomach drop. They were keeping vital information from her. “What?” she asked uneasily. “What’s really going on here?”  
Danny sighed and took her by the hand, guiding her to a couch. Maisie’s cheeks flushed, but she kept her composure as he sat next to her, sympathetic and supportive.  
“Babe,” he said. “I’m about to tell you some crazy shit. I’m not making any of it up, and you need to know that it won’t be an easy pill to swallow. But you’re involved in some insane stuff now, and the more you know about all this, the better. We’re here for you, to walk you through the process and keep you safe.”  
“…okay,” Maisie said dumbly. “Go ahead. Tell me everything. I can handle it.”  
“Alright.” Danny cleared his throat, and the rest of the gang took seats to hear the tale. “To start off…your name, uh…hasn’t always been Maisie.”  
Maisie made a face, confused. “What… _else_ …has been my name?”  
Danny took a deep breath. “At one point in time,” he confessed, “your name was Kristen. I met you on a time travel adventure. And you and I had sex that saved the future.”


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

There's always the Diamond friendly  
Sitting in the Laugh Motel  
The Heart's filthy lesson  
With her hundred miles to hell  
\- “The Heart’s Filthy Lesson” – David Bowie

Maisie stared. She took a deep breath, sighing out through her teeth. And then she gave a tiny, hysterical laugh.  
“Right,” she quipped, flipping her blonde curls over on her head. Her pink streak glistened in the light. “Uh huh. Yep. Got it. I figured it out.”  
“Figured…what out?” Danny asked carefully. He was looking at her as if he’d just cut the blue wired instead of the red.   
“That I’ve fucking lost it,” Maisie said, giving that crazed laugh again. “So, what, is this, like, a _Terminator_ thing? Does our future son ‘gather the rebels’ and defeat the machine overlord? ’Cause that’d be the cherry on top.”  
“At least let me explain,” Danny said. He was wringing his huge, bony hands, more anxious than Maisie had ever seen him.   
“Explain _what_? There’s more?” she asked. “Because I think you so eloquently summed it all up a second ago. Time travel adventure. World-saving sex. _Kristen_. It’s obvious to me, at this point, that I’m either passed out in class or in a homework-induced coma.”  
“C’mon, Maisie,” snapped ’Tude Bro. “This shit is serious.”  
“Serious? _Serious_?” Maisie demanded. “ _Nothing_ about this is serious. Are you hearing this? Nothing you’re saying makes any sense!”  
She hadn’t even realized she’d stood up to yell until Danny’s warm hand gently touched her forearm and guided her back down into her seat.  
“Maisie,” he said. “There’s too much to tell you right now. It’d fricking blow your mind, and not in the cool way. Instead…I’d like to show you what I’m talking about. If you’ll follow me.”  
“What are you thinking?” ’Tude Bro asked.  
Danny hesitated before answering. “You told me you play guitar, right? You mentioned it in one of your dreams.”  
“Um, yes, I do,” Maisie said, uncertain.  
Danny scratched the back of his neck. “So, um, okay, long story short…I’m friends with a Rock n’ Roll Wizard. Roll with it, because I _promise_ it’s true but I don’t have time to explain. And he gave me a gift a while back because I did him a favor. I think it’ll be able to help you.”  
Maisie made a face, utterly confused.   
“Oh, shit,” said ’Tude Bro. “You want her to use _that_?”   
“Sure, why not?” Danny said.   
“It’s kind of…overwhelming,” ’Tude Bro went on. “And weird.”  
“We don’t have a lot of options,” Danny said, rising to his feet. “I can’t just _explain_ to her what happened.”  
There was quiet. Everyone except Maisie seemed to understand what was going on.   
“We’ll be back soon,” Danny told them. Turning to Maisie, he said, “Follow me.”  
Leaving everyone else behind, Maisie followed Danny down a hall and around a couple dark corners. There were pictures on the walls of everyone gathered together at bars, concerts, and parties. There was a family photo of Danny, dressed in a holey T-shirt and jeans, with an older woman and what could have been his parents. Finally, Danny took a right at a fork in the hall and came to a door decorated with a wooden sign that read _Danny’s Room_.  
“Why the hell are we here?” Maisie asked.  
“It’s where _numerous_ types of magic happen, babe,” said Danny with a laugh, opening the door.  
Maisie was well aware that Danny was in his mid-thirties, but the room she was introduced to could have easily passed as a seventeen-year-old boy’s. An entire wall was dedicated to showcasing a collection of football helmets, posters, and other memorabilia. The upper half of another wall had a corkboard smattered with photos, some with the gang, some of people Maisie had never seen before. He had a simple, disorganized wooden desk, a ceiling covered in posters of rock stars, and a bed in the shape of a heart.  
“Whaddaya think?” Danny asked, amused.  
“Well,” Maisie said. “It’s certainly…you. Very personable, very…quaint.”  
Danny snorted. “’Cause people are dying to call me _quaint_. Anyway.” He pushed a button on a remote control on the desk, and one of the walls spun, revealing a secret panel.  
“That’s some Scooby Doo shit,” Maisie commented.  
The new wall was a collection of guitars, of all shapes and sizes. Some were plain, some were decked out in wicked designs, but either way, they were all _beautiful_. Maisie’s fingers twitched, desperate to get one of them in her hands.   
“Like what you see?” Danny said, laughing at the expression of awe on her face.   
“I think I’m in love,” Maisie replied, grinning. “How did you get all of these? I didn’t know you play!”  
Danny cleared his throat. “I don’t, actually.”  
“You don’t?” Maisie raised an eyebrow. “Then why the collection?”  
“It’s good for the image, you know.” Danny swiped at his nose, grinning at her in a way that made her flush. “Did I tell you I’m in a band?”  
“A band,” she echoed. “You.”  
“And Ninja Brian. Ninja Sex Party isn’t just a superhero duo, babe. We’re also in a band with ’Tude Bro. Starbomb.”  
“Yowza,” Maisie joked. “So he’s smart _and_ talented. What’s a girl to do?”  
“I can totally show you some of us another time. But for now…” Danny reached up and plucked the guitar hanging horizontally at the top of the collection: a cobalt blue guitar with a jagged, gold lightning bolt crawling across it diagonally. “You’re gonna need this,” he added, handing it to her, as well as its matching chip.   
“It’s…gorgeous,” Maisie said, starstruck. The guitar was sturdy, but it had the perfect balance in her hands. The blue and yellow shone beautifully together, smooth under Maisie’s finger. “So, uh, what am I gonna do with this?”  
Danny reached down to the base of the guitar, where there was a dial and a set of positions. “This is an enchanted guitar,” he explained, setting the dial to the middle of five placements. “It can do a _lot_. It automatically matches your center of mass to balance out perfectly, but it does other sick shit, too.” He met her gaze. “Like help you remember stuff.”   
“Remember stuff?” Maisie questioned.  
“You have to remember being Kristen,” Danny urged.   
“I don’t— _I’m not Kristen_ ,” she enunciated. “What are you even _talking_ about?”  
“It’s a long fucking story, babe. I’m not sure how it’ll be for you, though…” He swallowed, frowning. “Look. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with. I can’t…I won’t force you to remember everything that happened. You’ve got a really cool life in the Reality Realm. I won’t…I won’t take that away from you, if you’d like things to stay the way they are.”   
Maisie considered. “I won’t be the same after seeing what you want me to see,” she said quietly. “Will I?”  
“Honestly? I don’t think so. It’ll be a lot. It’s crazy shit. But crazier shit is gonna go down from here on out, once Samurai Abstinence Patrol comes to the city to find us. But we’re gonna be by your side the whole time.”   
His eyes met hers, and she saw a loving sincerity that baffled her. They’d only known each other for a week—why was he so earnest in his attempts to help her? Why did he care so much?  
“Baby girl,” Danny told her earnestly, taking her by the hand. “Please trust me on this. I brought you here, to my city, to help you, and this is only going to help more. It’s gonna be nuts, but I know you’ll pull through it and be stronger. You just…you gotta know what went down. In the future…” He shrugged. “What went down between us.”  
Maisie bit her lip. From his dreamy tone, it sounded like a _lot_ had gone down. But it was all stuff he couldn’t tell her—she had to see it for herself, or else it would all sound like more dreams she’d had that she couldn’t remember.   
“I guess I can’t wake up from this,” Maisie stated. “I suppose I won’t.”  
She wasn’t sure why she said it, but Danny nodded along anyway. “You’re out of the dreams, baby girl. But I’m still with you, all the way.”  
She nodded, lifting the guitar strap over one shoulder. “What do I have to do to activate this thing?”  
Danny took a couple steps back. “Just strum it once and focus your mind toward what you want to remember. Everything else will play out on its own. Just prepare yourself. It’ll be nuts.”  
Maisie gulped and stretched her fingers. Guitar chip in her hand, she raised her arm up and strummed once, the sound echoing about the room in waves.  
 _Kristen_ , thought Maisie. _Who was I when I was Kristen?_  
The waves surrounded her, swirling around in a tornado shape. The colors melted away, everything fading to white, and the last thing Maisie saw was the caramel brown of Danny’s eyes, watching her as she vanished.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I looked around an’ what did I see  
Broken hearted people staring at me,  
All searching ’cause they still believe,  
Oh, love ain't no stranger…  
\- “Love Ain’t No Stranger” – Whitesnake 

_The year was 6969._  
_Things were horrible. Every morning, Kristen would start the day putting on her loose fitting turtleneck and full length pants, making sure no unnecessary skin was showing. She would fly open her window, gazing out upon her gray, sad Attitude City._  
_The Council of Elders had been so busy with their tyrannical rule over the rest of the globe that they’d forgotten to re-name the once-glorious city. Despite the horrible spell that hung over them like a curtain of lead, Attitude City’s name remained, even if its joy was gone._  
_Kristen had been wandering the streets, waving to other citizens sadly, when she’d narrowly been hit by a laser beam. She’d glanced up in shock, watching the tails of a chase between a spaceship and an official jet of the Council of Elders soar past._  
_While other passerbys ran for their lives, Kristen was rooted to the spot. The unfamiliar spaceship lost the Elders’ jet in-between the skyscrapers, and she saw them dock somewhere deep in the city._  
_Kristen didn’t know what magic overtook her. But her legs started moving, and she was sprinting through the city, suddenly desperate to find the strange ship. Many blocks later, she found the ship in the desolate heart of Attitude City, but was disappointed, upon inspection, to find no one inside._  
_She backed away and sat by the city’s grand fountain. It had dried up long ago, when the Elders had enacted the thousand-year spell that had sucked the love and happiness from the city. Kristen gazed into the empty base of the fountain, suddenly glad there was no water to show her reflection. She would have only gazed upon sadness._  
_But then she heard a voice._  
_A hurried, excited voice, from mere feet away._  
_“Ninja Brian…” It was a man speaking. “Look at that girl, with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair. I’m immediately in love!”_  
_Kristen whirled around, face-to-face with two of the strangest people she’d ever witnessed. One man was tall, with wild, brown hair and a blue, shimmery kimono barely covering his body. Next to him was a shorter man with blazing blue eyes, dressed head to toe in black._  
_They were dressed so…strangely. And what was wrong with the taller man’s face? His smile was hurting her eyes._  
_“Hello?” Kristen asked tentatively._  
_“Hi!” the taller man chirped._  
_She was put off by his enthusiasm and jumped, clutching her hands to her chest. “This was wrong,” she muttered, and turned to run._  
_“Wait! Please don’t go, miss.”_  
_And for some reason, she listened. Perhaps it was that voice of his—happy, bubbly, earnest, strong—but whatever it was, it glued her to the crumbling cobblestone beneath her feet._  
_“What’s your name, babe?” the man asked._  
_Kristen made a face. “‘Babe’?”_  
_“Erm, I’m sorry. Ma’am,” he corrected quickly. “Sorry, habit. Who are you?”_  
_“Kristen,” she told him, unsure. She looked the duo up again, confused out of her mind. They were so different than anything she’d ever seen before in her life! So colorful, daring, and…happy. “Who are you?”_  
_The taller man smiled so wide, she could see each of his square, white teeth. “I’m Danny Sexbang. This here’s Ninja Brian. We’re Ninja Sex Party. You’re welcome.”_  
_Kristen considered their names. “Very weird,” she said, before she could stop herself._  
_Danny Sexbang laughed and came closer. Gently, he reached out to touch her hand, but she jerked, as if he’d approached her with a blowtorch._  
_“I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “We mean you no harm. You’re just...” He shook his head. “I can’t believe my eyes. God, you’re just…”_  
_“Just…what?” Kristen asked.  
_ _Danny smiled. “The girl of my dreams.”_

**x.X.x.**  
When Maisie came to, she was lying on clouds. She groaned, spreading out her limbs and feeling silk roll under her skin.  
“Oh, shit,” said Danny, kneeling by her side. “You making a snow angel, babe?”  
Cracking open her eyes, Maisie realized she was lying on Danny’s bed, the curve of its heart shape curling in front of her toes. She scrambled to sit up, her head spinning. “Oww.” She massaged her temples, blinking blearily at him.  
“How do you feel?” Danny asked, tentative.  
“Awful,” Maisie confessed. “Like I got smacked with a bowling ball.”  
“A bowling ball…of memories?” Danny said softly.  
Maisie froze. There they were, clear as day in her head: memories she remembered making. Memories of meeting Danny and Ninja Brian, being a whole different person, living in a completely different time…  
“Yup,” she squeaked. “Bowling ball, all right.”  
“What do you remember?” Danny moved to sit at the end of the bed pretzel-style, sitting straight up with his hands on the knobs of his knees. “It can’t be much, right? You were only out for five minutes.”  
“I remember…6969,” Maisie started, her voice strained. “Attitude City…in the future? And…frick, I _was_ Kristen. And you…I met you and Ninja Brain, and you called me…”  
Danny chuckled. “The girl of my dreams, right?”  
The bottom of Maisie’s stomach went cold. “Yes. Right.”  
“Yeah, well, not my best work,” Danny said. “You laughed right in my face after I told you that. But not ’cause you were being mean. You were just super confused.”  
“Like future/past self,” Maisie muttered, “like present self. What does any of this mean? I remember—oh, shit, I remember the Council…vaguely. And the spell over Attitude City!” She grimaced. “And the _turtlenecks_. Yeesh.”  
“One thing at a time,” Danny tried to soothe her. “Don’t overwhelm yourself.”  
Thoughts swirled around in Maisie’s head like angry bees, but the only one she could formulate into words was, “You were in love with me?”  
Danny’s eyes widened, his mouth snapping shut. “I—I, uh—welp. Um. So. This is happening.”  
“Well?” Maisie demanded. “ _Were_ you? _Are_ you?”  
“Oh, jeez…” Danny ran his hands through his hair. “Maisie, it’s _super_ complicated. I don’t think that’s what we should be talking about.”  
“Then _what_ should we be talking about?” Maisie asked, raising her voice and climbing off the bed. “The fact that I’m from the future? That I had a different name and life? That I’m _here_ , with _you_ , and I just remembered that one of the first things you ever said to me was a _goddamn pick up line_?”  
“Maisie—” Danny tried, rounding the bed.  
“What?” she snapped. “Did _Kristen_ not yell at you like this? Am I stepping outside the role? _Not like how you remember, huh—_ ”  
And then Maisie was enveloped in a hug. Danny’s long arms curled around her shoulders, rubbing her back and tucking her face between his collarbones.  
“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding very far away. “Are you okay?”  
Maisie took a shuddering breath, collecting her wits. _Keep it together, Tadd._ “Yeah,” she said, her voice slightly muffled. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry.”  
Danny sighed and let go, smiling sadly down at her. “I wish you weren’t this overwhelmed,” he admitted. “This wasn’t my intention when I handed you that guitar. Which, by the way, you fucking rocked, and looked wicked playing. But…” He shrugged. “If you’re cool with it, we’re gonna take this one step at a time.”  
“Okay,” Maisie said, flipping some of her blonde curls over her shoulder. “But…what is ‘this’?”  
“Figuring out what Samurai Abstinence Patrol is up to,” Danny listed off. “Figuring out who took you from 6969. Keeping you safe. Typical Ninja Sex Party stuff.”  
“Sure, sure,” Maisie laughed weakly.  
There was a gentle knock at the door, and Ninja Brian and ’Tude Dude peeked in.  
“Everything cool?” ’Tude Dude asked. “We, uh, heard screaming.”  
“Yeah, dude, we’re cool,” Danny said, responding after seeing Maisie’s nod of approval. “What’s up?”  
“How do you feel about hitting up O’Donovan’s for dinner?” ’Tude Dude asked.  
“Shit, we don’t have anything here?”  
“Dude. We have, like, three eggs and a pack of Jolly Ranchers. We should probably go out.”  
“Yeah, you’re right…”  
“Are you worried about Maisie? No one will recognize her there. Plus, he’ll probably put us in the back, near the pool table.”  
“Are you cool with going out?” Danny asked Maisie. “’Tude Dude is right, it’s gonna be safe. We know the guy who owns the restaurant, he’ll put us somewhere out of sight.”  
Maisie smoothed out her flannel shirt and rubbed at her face. Her skin was hot and prickly, but she knew she had to pull herself together. _One step at a time._ She opened her mouth to reply, but her stomach answered before she could. “I guess that’s a yes,” she said.  
On their way out the door, she added, “Who is this guy, anyway?”  
“We’re on our way to meet the owner of the most popular restaurant here and the head of Attitude City’s military base,” Danny told her with an encouraging thumbs-up. “Our buds Ross and Holly!”


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

So, join me for a drink, boys…  
We’re gonna make a big noise  
So, don't worry ’bout tomorrow, take it today  
Forget about the cheque, we'll get hell to pay!  
\- “Have A Drink on Me” – AC/DC

O’Donovan’s Pub was a hole in the wall that stretched almost all the way down 13th Street. The sign was bedazzled with neon lights, the yellow and blue silhouette of a figure striking a ninja pose hanging between _O’Donovan’s_ and _Pub_. As they turned the corner, Maisie could see a line coming out of the front and tailing all the way down the street.  
“Oh, jeez,” she complained. “Look at that line!”  
“Screw the line,” Danny said, flashing her a grin. “We’re _VIP_ , babe. We got this.”  
Maisie was almost mortified, lagging behind the group as they cut past the mile-long line and went right to the front. A buff man stood guard over the entrance with a clipboard. She expected him to shoo them away and laugh in their faces, but the man nodded at Danny and stepped aside.  
“I guess you weren’t kidding,” Maisie mused as they walked into the pub.  
“’Course not,” Danny said. “Sure, Ninja Sex Party and the crew get exclusive access to every hangout here in the city, but especially here at O’Donovan’s. We know the guy.”  
A hostess didn’t even bat an eye at the group and before gesturing for them to follow her. She led them through the restaurant, which allowed Maisie to get a good look at the place. It was lit by the soft green, blue, and yellow lights that hung low from the ceiling and the numerous TV screens that plastered the walls. Instead of football or the evening news, though, different cartoons were playing on every screen. The heavenly smells of burgers, fries, and steaks wafted out of the kitchen door every time it swung open, urgent but smiling waiters and waitresses carrying food out on silver platters. The place was packed, every small, round, wooden table surrounded by people heartily laughing at either their friends or the cartoons on TV.   
The hostess took them to the back of the room and held open a silk, black curtain. “Mr. O’Donovan is right in here with Commander Conrad,” she told them.  
“Sweet! Holly _is_ here,” Danny said. He grinned at the hostess. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”  
The hostess flushed under his cheery gaze and tentatively smiled back. “Y-you’re welcome, Danny. Enjoy your meal!” Then she rushed back to the front upon seeing a new influx of hungry customers walk in.  
“Good thing you use your powers for good, Danny,” Suzy laughed.  
“Powers?” Danny asked, trying at nonchalance. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
“Oh, you know. The cheeky smile. The dimples. The puppy dog eyes. We’re the only ones immune to it all.” Suzy gave him a stern look. “Although _I’m_ sure you know what I’d do if you _abused_ this power, right?”  
“Sure, sure, I’d fear for my life.” Danny wiggled his eyebrows at Maisie. “If only _some people_ weren’t so immune, though.”  
“You wish, lover boy,” Maisie quipped, even though she was struggling not to flush herself. She, to her own embarrassment, had started to realize she was developing a crush on Danny. As far as he knew, she was resisting his charm, but deep down, he made her heart flutter like a crazed, caged bird.   
The group went through the curtain and entered a dim back section of the pub, where two people were playing billiards. A tall, thin guy took a shot and pocketed the eight ball, making his opponent, a pale, pink-haired woman, to cry out, “Goddammit, Ross! I was so close!”  
“Sorry, sorry!” he replied, raising his hands in surrender. “And before you crack a joke about me being good at shooting balls—” He stopped and lifted his tinted sunglasses, revealing his crystal blue eyes and beaming at the group. “Hey, guys!”  
“Look what the cat dragged in,” the woman said, her tone endearing.  
Maisie stood awkwardly behind as Danny, Suzy, ’Tude Dude, and ’Tude Bro highfived, shook hands, and hugged the couple. The man wore a silver suit, a tie decorated with tiny versions of the ninja emblem from the pub’s sign outside, and sneakers. It contrasted remarkably with the woman’s outfit: a black mechsuit, with red stripes running up the arms and a large gun strapped at her waist. The armor matched the woman’s figure perfectly, and didn’t seem bulky as she moved.   
“I see you guys brought some new blood,” the man said.  
Danny encouraged Maisie to come forward and said, “This our new pal, Maisie Tadd. Maisie, this is Ross, owner of O’Donovan’s, and Holly Conrad, head of military functions here in Attitude City.”   
“Wowza,” Maisie said, smiling a little at the pair.   
“And you think that’s nuts?” Danny went on. “They’re _married_. To _each other_.”  
“What you’re telling me,” Maisie said, “is that I’m currently face-to-face with Attitude City’s power couple?”  
“A- _hem_ ,” ’Tude Bro and Suzy harrumphed together.   
“Correction: _one_ of its power couples,” Maisie said sheepishly.   
“That is totally, one hundred percent true.” Ross motioned to a long, half-booth, half-chair table behind him. “You guys are here for some late night grub, amiright?”  
“You are _right_ ,” ’Tude Bro responded.  
Sitting down with everyone for dinner initially scared Maisie. The group was so tightly knit—who was she, but an outsider, peering through a window, tapping on the glass to get their attention? But as the evening wore on, those feelings went away. Little by little, these new people, practically strangers, included her in their fun. They explained their inside jokes, grinned at her as they laughed, brought her into their weird, beautiful, little world.   
She appreciated every bit of it. At first, she’d felt very alone. But on the contrary: now she felt consumed by their friendship. And she wanted to keep it that way, no matter the craziness that had become her life.  
But then that craziness reared its ugly head.  
“So, Maisie,” Holly said, sharpening a butter knife on her shoulder armor. “Where are you from? How do you know our dashing lil’ Daniel?”  
Maisie’s burger paused inches from her mouth. She placed it back down on its plate and shot Danny a worried look.   
“That’s actually a _super_ interesting story,” Danny started, scratching the back of his neck. “And partly very concerning, depending on how you look at it, but—”  
“Mr. O’Donovan!” The guard from the entrance of the restaurant burst through the black curtain. “Ross, come quick! They’re about to—”  
Everyone went silent as they heard the front door of O’Donovan’s get kicked in and separate from its hinges. Two sets of footsteps walked in, the wooden floorboards creaking under their weight.   
“Hello, patrons,” sneered a familiar voice from the main part of the restaurant. “So sorry to interrupt the meal. But we’re looking for a certain crime-fighting duo and a girl they may be traveling with. So,” Arin Neverbone went on, “who would like to help Samurai Abstinence Patrol with their hunt tonight?”


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I am the ruler of these netherworlds  
The underground - oh, yes!  
On every wall and place my fearsome name is hung  
Just look around - oh, yes…  
\- “Atomic Punk” – Van Halen

_“Shit,”_ Danny hissed.   
“What’s going on?” Ross demanded immediately in a hiss, standing. “Why are they looking for you?”  
All eyes swiveled to Maisie, who was cringing.   
“Oh,” Ross said.   
“Do you have a back door or something we can sneak out of?” ’Tude Dude whispered.   
The sound of glass shattering stopped Ross from answering, and a few people cried out.   
“Come on,” Arin Neverbone said, his tone sickly sweet. “Nobody wants to talk? My friend and I have sources that tell us Ninja Sex Party came here with our target. So spit it out, and nobody gets hurt.”  
Ross narrowed his eyes dangerously and looked to Holly, who nodded.   
“Get under the table,” he commanded.  
“Ross, let us help,” Danny insisted.  
“Explain later,” Ross told him. “Finding cover is how you can help. But they’re in Ross Country now, baby. And I intend on showing him some good-ol’ O’Donovan hospitality.”  
Danny gave him a solemn nod of understanding and gestured for Ninja Brian, Maisie, ’Tude Bro, ’Tude Dude, and Suzy to hide under the table with him. When they were crouched out of sight, Ross flicked a pen out of his jean pocket and grinned at Holly and the guard from the entrance. “Ready for a rumble?”  
Holly unhooked the gun from her waist and turned it on, causing it to hum. She smiled back at him with a small trickle of laughter. “Let’s just keep the property damage to a minimal. Last time it cost your right arm to fix up this place.”  
“Don’t remind me,” Ross grumbled. “Vernon, you ready?”  
The guard tapped on his glasses, a red dot lighting up in the center of each lens. “Let’s kick ’em to the curb.” Laser beams shot out of his glasses and zoomed through the black curtain, causing the restaurant to go silent as Ross, Holly, and Vernon walked through.  
“What do we do?” Maisie whispered.   
In the next room, Ross drawled, “Samurai Abstinence Patrol. What brings you two to my humble little establishment?”  
“You know why we’re here, O’Donovan,” Arin Neverbone snapped.  
“Do I?” Ross replied. “Enlighten me.”  
“ _Ninja Sex Party_. And the girl they’re traveling with. Where are they?”  
“Haven’t seen NSP, or any mystery girl,” Holly told them coolly. “So if I were you, I’d leave in peace.”  
“What?” Arin jeered. “We don’t get any service? What if we came in for a drink, too?”  
“Then by all means, place an order.” They heard Ross walk across the room to what must have been behind the bar counter. “What’ll you have? Cocktail, beer, rum, wine? Ooh, you kinda look like a margarita man, Mr. Neverbone.”  
“Never mind your shitty drinks. Let’s go, Samurai Barry.”  
For a moment, the tension deflated as footsteps started toward the exit. But then all hell broke loose in O’Donovan’s, and they could hear a fight break out in the restaurant.  
“Dammit,” Danny muttered. “We can’t leave them behind to handle the saps by themselves.”  
’Tude Dude, ’Tude Bro, Ninja Brian, and Suzy were already moving from underneath their table and running through the black curtain and into the fight. Danny rolled out from beneath the table and crouched down, sincerity burning in his expression.  
“Stay low, baby girl,” he told her. “We’ll come get you when we’ve kicked their asses.”  
“But—” What could Maisie say? She didn’t want to hide and let them fight for her, but no way she could handle Samurai Abstinence Patrol. Was the best she could do just stay out of the way?   
_But that’s so LAME_ , Maisie thought in anger.   
She realized Danny was waiting for her to continue speaking, so she quickly choked out, “Please be careful.”  
Danny smiled at her. “Is that _concern_ I hear in your voice, babe? That’s so sweet!”  
“Watch it, Sexbang,” Maisie replied, biting back a smile. “Just don’t get killed out there. You guys are the only people I know in this crazy city.”  
“Don’t worry, Maisie.” Danny took her hand and lightly kissed a knuckle. “No matter what the universe throws at us, one thing will always be true: I’ll always come back to you. So don’t stress, ’kay?”  
Maisie nodded numbly, an inferno sparking in her stomach. “Okay.”  
Danny winked at her before plunging into the fray outside the curtain.  
Maisie leaned back. The space beneath the table was tall enough for her to sit up without bumping her head. Her emotions were swirling in a twister, and she didn’t know what to do. Yes, she had a crush on Danny, and he appeared to like her, too, but did he really like _her_?   
_He looks at me and sees Kristen,_ Maisie thought, her heart bruised. _But I’m not who he fell in love with. But he TREATS me like I’m the one he fell in love with. Sometimes. But other times, we’re really good friends?_ Her head fell into her hands. _Ugh, this is so confusing!_  
It wasn’t the problem to be thinking about, while she was hiding in the back room of a restaurant during a brawl. But Danny obviously thought the key to defeating Samurai Abstinence Patrol _now_ was concealed in her memories of who she had been _then._   
“Time to go back to my roots,” Maisie whispered. She closed her eyes. _Kristen. Who was I when I was Kristen?_  
She felt herself sinking into blackness and let herself go.   
**x.X.x.**

_“I’m the WHAT?” Kristen laughed.  
“The girl of my dreams!” Danny insisted, holding his arms out. “Look at you, you’re BEAUTIFUL. Humble, strong, gorgeous—it’s obvious that fate has brought us together to save the future.”  
“The…future?” Kristen blinked at them, their strangeness suddenly making more, but also less, sense. “You’re from the past?”  
“Early 2000’s, to be more specific,” Danny said. He gazed around in despair at the rumbling Attitude City that surrounded them. “We traveled here, to 6969, in hopes of finding a utopia of boning. But imagine our horror—more importantly, mine—when we showed up and found out boning is OUTLAWED!”  
“So you’re from an age when intimacy was allowed,” Kristen realized in wonder.   
“Hell yeah, babe.” Danny grinned. “Boning is my entire life. So, to summarize, we, as an outraged party, went to the Council of Dick Elders to find out what happened and—”  
“You went to the Council!” Kristen couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You dared to question their authority?”  
“We did more than ‘question’ them.” Raising one foot to be on the fountain’s edge, Danny pointed to the sky in a bold motion of exclamation and proclaimed, “We told them we wouldn’t allow their horrible spell over this bodacious planet to continue! A Dick Elder tried to tell me about they control this world with their iron fists, and you know what I said to him?”  
“What?” Kristen asked, mesmerized by his grandeur.   
“‘Fuck that bullshit!’”   
Kristen winced. “So that’s why they are after you two,” she said, looking at Danny and Ninja Brian. “You’re visitors from the past that have threatened to make our whole society come crashing down.”  
“More than that,” Danny emphasized. “We’re here to ignite a revolution, baby. And I know it begins with you.”  
Stumbling back a step, Kristen gawked at him. “Me?!”  
“You’re the girl of my dreams!” Danny tried to explain. “I think the only way to break the spell is for two people—or more, if you’re feeling crazy—to bone! I think we’d be perfect for each other. You’re hot, I’m hot—bam. The stuff of magic.”  
Kristen brought her hands together over her heart, feeling its quickened pace beneath her palms. With the light haloed around his face and his hands stretched out to her, Danny resembled a kimono-clad angel. What was this heat that radiated under her skin, hot as the sun that was eclipsed behind this mysterious stranger?   
Kristen was snapped from her trance by the screech of sirens. She looked up and balked as helicopters encircled them from above, shining blue and red spotlights down on them. “Ninja Sex Party!” someone from a helicopter shouted through a megaphone. “Step away from the civilian and get down on your knees with your hands in the air!”  
“Not the first time I’ve heard that one,” Danny quipped. “Time to dash!”  
Ninja Brian ran to their spaceship ten feet away and started to press some buttons, the engine roaring to life. As the ship hovered slightly off the ground, Danny grabbed hold of a railing on the ship and held a hand out to Kristen. “Come with us!” he urged. “You can help us beat them! You can save the world!”  
Kristen hesitated, her hand inches from his. The whirr of the helicopter blades ruffled her blonde hair in every direction, but despite the madness around them, her attention was zeroed in on Danny. “I can trust you?” she asked firmly. “You’ll show me this thing called love?”  
Danny smiled down at her. “Baby girl, I’ll shower you in love like a goddamn rainstorm.” Another round of sirens began to go off, and he added, “You should, like, totally get in the spaceship now, though.”   
Kristen could hear the warning bells going off in her head. Love and intimacy were mere myths to her. The Council’s spell had made it so that people hadn’t felt them in a thousand years. Kristen’s life had been filled with cold loneliness and scratchy turtlenecks for as long as she could remember. The warmth Danny Sexbang made her feel was beautiful and unfamiliar and scary, and she craved more of it.   
As Kristen took hold of Danny Sexbang’s hand and leapt into his spaceship, the thrill of their touch—his touch, a touch—made her sad heart flare to life._  
 **x.X.x.**  
When Maisie jerked back to the present, she banged her elbow against the wall behind her, causing her to release a savage hiss of, “Son of a _bitch_.” But as she blinked the stars away, she was struck with the new memory. Kristen had felt so… _empty_. Everyone in 6969 must have, due to the Council’s evil spell. But just grabbing Danny’s hand had kickstarted something amazing in Kristen that hadn’t even been love: it had been excitement, nervousness, panic, uncertainty, and exhilaration all rolled into one.   
He had made her _feel_. And when she was Kristen, that had meant the world.   
“As beautiful as this all is,” Maisie whispered to herself. “It doesn’t give me a way to defeat Samurai Abstinence Patrol.”   
Listening in on what was going on in the next room, Maisie could hear Danny talking in the lazy, unconcerned tone he used when addressing Samurai Abstinence Patrol. She realized in surprise that visiting the new memory, while it had felt eons long, had to only have lasted a minute or two.   
But the next moments brought crashes and bangs as a fight broke out. Maisie crawled forward and peeked slightly through the curtain, just to watch Ninja Brian chuck Samurai Barry into a wall. Samurai Barry picked himself up and turned away from Ninja Brian, barreling straight at Suzy.  
Maisie jerked, prepared to cry out a warning, but her eyes widened as Suzy met Samurai Barry’s charge with an icy glare and pulled off her chain bracelet. Before Maisie’s eyes, the simple bracelet stretched out to be three feet long, and Suzy swung it above her head like a lasso and tossed it to encircle Samurai Barry in a clean swoop. With Samurai Barry captured, ’Tude Dude and ’Tude Bro jumped in to deal the finishing blows.  
On the other side of the room, Danny, Ross, and Holly were taking on Arin Neverbone. Holly was shooting green bolts of energy at Arin, but he was dodging every one with one backflip after another. Maisie watched in wonder as Ross scribbled furiously on the open air with his pen, deep in concentration. Then, out of thin air came a solidified bazooka outlined in black. Ross plucked it out of the air and tossed it to Holly, who expertly aimed and fired, causing Arin to be blown through the opposite wall.  
“So much for minimal property damage,” Holly mused.  
“Ugh, that’s gonna take _forever_ to get fixed,” Ross groaned.  
Maisie noticed that all the restaurant patrons had already fled, leaving O’Donovan’s to be an open battle field. Arin appeared in the hole he had caused in the wall and gestured wildly at Samurai Barry. The samurai jumped over everyone and ran out into the street with Arin.  
“We’ll defeat you one day, Ninja Sex Party!” Arin yelled. “But for right now, enjoy our parting message.”  
The group wasn’t fast enough, and Samurai Abstinence Patrol vanished into the dark city. Maisie jogged to stand with the group right out front of O’Donovan’s.  
“You sent them away with their tails between their legs!” Maisie encouraged.  
But she took one look at the group and knew something was wrong. Everyone was staring at the front entrance of the restaurant, and as Maisie turned to follow their line of sight, she felt goose bumps rise on her arms.  
A simple graffiti message was sprawled on O’Donovan’s in red spray paint:  
 _The Council Lives._


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I'm not a robot without emotions, I'm not what you see  
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free  
I'm not a hero, I'm not the savior, forget what you know  
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control…  
\- “Mr. Roboto” – Styx

O’Donovan’s was quiet afterward.  
Due to the damage from the fight, Ross had closed the restaurant early. But even though the patrons were gone and the employees had been sent home, they all knew the true cause of the silence.  
 _The Council Lives._  
The message had been an anchor on Maisie, dragging her down somewhere dark and deep. She paced about in the heart of O’Donovan’s, weaving around tables and chairs. She couldn’t help but feel sick, and kept pushing her hair back from her face out of worry.  
Samurai Abstinence Patrol’s message was obviously referring to the Council of Elders, but how was that possible? They were from the _future_! How could Samurai Abstinence Patrol know about them—better yet, be _working_ with them?   
Maisie felt a shudder coming. Something bigger than she’d originally thought was going on, and unfortunately, it looked like she was at the center of it.  
“Maisie?”  
Danny approached, one arm reaching to scratch the back of his neck. His blue jumpsuit had a sleek sheen under the lights in O’Donovan’s, clashing heavily with the ashen quality of his face.   
“Hey,” Maisie said, breathless from pacing.  
“We’re all talking in the back room, if you wanna join,” Danny told her.  
Maisie nodded. “There certainly is a lot to talk about,” she noted bleakly.  
He didn’t reply as she passed him and went through the black curtain into the back room. Everyone was gathered around, the air heavy with tension.   
“So, let me get this straight,” said Ross. “Some group of dicks from the future that you already got rid of are apparently still alive and are working with Samurai Abstinence Patrol to get Maisie—who is from the future, _as well_ , and once went by the name Kristen before being taken from the future and being dropped into another realm.”  
“Yup, pretty much,” Danny remarked.  
“Awesome,” Ross said, pausing. “I need a drink. Anyone else want a drink?”  
Several people agreed, and Ross crossed to the tiny bar set up next to their table.   
“Why are Ross and I just now hearing about all this?” Holly demanded. “You all knew?”  
“Brian and I only told ’Tude Bro, ’Tude Dude, and Suzy,” Danny answered. “We handled it and didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”  
Holly shot him an exasperated look. “You _changed_ the future. That’s kind of a big deal.”  
“What do these guys even do in the future?” Ross asked.  
“They take over the planet and rule with their tyrannical power. They…” Danny shuddered and gulped. “They outlawed sex.”  
Ross and Holly gasped.  
“Bastards,” ’Tude Dude growled with the shake of his head.  
“But you took ’em out, right?” Ross demanded.  
“Brian frickin’ killed everyone in the council!” Danny answered. “So what the hell is going on?”  
“Maybe Samurai Abstinence Patrol is bluffing to get our attention,” Holly suggested, shining one of her pistols with a rag.   
“But how would they even _know_ of this council if it’s from the future?” Suzy said, frowning. She fingered the intricate silver chain necklace around her neck; it matched the chain bracelets around her wrists that could apparently become lassos. “ _We_ were the only ones who knew, and we never breathed a word.”  
“Is it possible the saps tapped into the mechanics necessary for time travel?” ’Tude Bro asked.   
Danny scoffed. “I don’t think they even know how to tie their shoes. How did they figure out time travel?”  
“So if they didn’t find the future,” Holly said grimly, “the future found them.”  
The room went quiet as everyone considered what Holly was saying.   
“Someone from the future enlisted _them_ ,” Ross elaborated.   
“Is it possible you missed one of the council dudes?” Danny asked Ninja Brian. Upon receiving a deadly stare from the ninja, Danny added, “Didn’t think so.”  
“Could it be someone that had been on the inside and supported the council’s spell?” ’Tude Bro suggested. “Someone close to the council and who knew all their secrets?”  
Danny groaned. “I dunno, I dunno, I dunno! This is so annoying. We’re completely in the dark on this one, and we can’t hide from the saps forever.”  
“Maybe you won’t have to.” ’Tude Dude glanced up at them from his phone and grinned. “Kevin’s got their location.”  
“Shit! So the tracking device is working!” Danny exclaimed, eyes going wide.   
“I threw one on Samurai Barry during our fight,” ’Tude Dude informed them. “And Kevin just texted me saying he’s got their coordinates.”  
“Then we’re out of here,” Danny decided.   
x.X.x.  
Maisie was brought up to speed on the way. Kevin was apparently the group’s main tech guy and worked, along with ’Tude Dude, with the city’s electrical department to light up Attitude City. He lived in an upscale apartment complex ten minutes from O’Donovan’s, so before Maisie could blink, she was in an elevator with the rest of the group (minus Ross and Holly, who had stayed behind to close up O’Donovan’s), heading up to Kevin’s floor.  
As ’Tude Dude knocked on Kevin’s door, Danny quickly whispered to her, “Try not to stare too much, by the way.”  
“Stare?” Maisie asked, frowning. “Why would I—”  
The door opened into the apartment, and she almost screamed at the sight of a single blue and silver metallic arm sitting on the floor. But then the arm waved them in and hopped down the hallway.  
“Now I’ve seen everything,” Maisie muttered.  
They followed the arm’s path deep into the dim apartment. The whole place was decked out in some of the most advanced technology Maisie had ever seen. TV screens were all over the walls, broadcasting different shows, like Pokemon and “The Bachelorette.” An automated mechanism in the kitchen had robot hands hanging from the ceiling and throwing ingredients into a blender. Tiny robots were scurrying around the room as they dusted, mopped, swept, and tossed discarded hoodies, caps, and beanies into a laundry bin. They paid their visitors no attention, continuing on with their jobs without offering a greeting.  
“What, is this Kevin a mad scientist?” Maisie asked.  
“Sure, that’s one way of looking at it,” ’Tude Dude responded.   
The mechanical arm led them to the very back of the apartment: a cluttered, brightly-lit laboratory, with organized filing cabinets filled with blue prints and scraps of metal dotting across the floor. Sitting at a long work bench was a small young man with spiky black hair and deeply tanned skin. He wore a lab coat and a pair of bug-eyed safety goggles as he melded metal together with a blow torch.   
But even from her safe distance away, Maisie could peek at the silver linings of metal that covered the young man’s left hand.   
“Kevin?” Danny shouted over the noise of the blow torch. “Yo, earth to Kevin!”  
Kevin looked up and removed his goggles. Maisie wore her poker face like a mask as she took in the metallic half of his face, one eye a calm brown, the other an electric yellow.  
 _Cyborg?_ Maisie thought.  
“Hey, guys!” Kevin greeted with a grin. “How’s it hangin’?”  
“Things are hangin’, my man,” ’Tude Dude replied. Maisie watched the silver of Kevin’s metallic body parts shine in ’Tude Dude’s sunglasses as they fist-bumped. More greetings were exchanged until Kevin noticed Maisie and his one human eye widened.  
“Oh, whoa! It’s you. Maisie, right?”  
She reached out to shake his robot hand and expected it to be ice cold, but was pleasantly surprised by how warm and gracious it was. She could practically feel the electricity surging under the metal. “The one and only. And you are…Kevin?”  
He smiled, revealing his dimples. “Dr. Kevin Abernathy, at your service.”  
“Speaking of service, dude,” Danny said. “You texted about the location of a certain pair of saps?”  
“Indeed I did.” Kevin gestured to his left as he approached the large computer screen hung on the far wall. Plopping into the spinning chair in front of it, he typed a few keys and the screen blazed to life, revealing a graph pattern with an overlaying map. Kevin pointed to a red asterisk as it crawled down the map. “There are your saps.”  
Suzy squinted. “What are those coordinates? They can’t be close to here.”  
“You’re right about that one.” Kevin clicked on the asterisk, and numerical code flashed in the corner of the screen. “Just as I thought. They’re on the other side of the city, and still on the move.”  
“The least populated part of Attitude City,” ’Tude Bro noted with a nod. “It makes sense if that’s where they’re hiding out. None of us are ever over there. No prodding eyes.”  
“So, what is our game plan?” ’Tude Dude said. “Are we just waiting for them to stop at one place and then we strike?”  
“Our plan of attack,” Danny said, “is to wrestle answers out of them. They’ve got to be working for someone from the future. How else would they know about the Council? And once we get answers, we go to the heart of the problem and tear his shit up.”   
The right thing to do probably was to nod with vigor and puff out her chest, ready for the inevitable battle. But instead, Maisie accidentally gave a great yawn.   
Everyone glanced at her.  
“Oh!” She grimaced, rubbing her eye with a fist. “Sorry. The adrenaline is wearing off.”  
“I think that’s proof enough that we should save our attack for tomorrow,” Suzy commented with a smile.  
And so the plans were made: the group would reconvene the next day once Kevin had detected Samurai Abstinence Patrol staying in one place for an extended period of time. Maisie was grateful for the push-back, as by the time they returned to Danny and ’Tude Dude’s town house, she was dead on her feet.   
_I’m alert all day because of all this craziness,_ Maisie thought blearily, _but now that things have calmed down, I’m about to pass out._  
Danny offered his bed, but Maisie turned him down with an exhausted laugh and settled for a couch. As everyone went to bed one-by-one, she cuddled deeper into the Legend of Zelda blanket she’d been given, reflecting on the day.  
 _I met the two dudes from my dreams, skipped universes, arrived in a crazy city, found out I’m some future-saving messiah from 6969, avoided a brawl in a pub, and met a cyborg. And I’m majorly crushing on the guy I apparently had sex with to save the world._  
Maisie turned over as she started to drift off to sleep.  
 _Just another day in the life of Maisie Tadd…_


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Growing up, it all seems so one-sided  
Opinions all provided, the future pre-decided,  
Detached and subdivided in the mass production zone  
Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone…  
\- “Subdivisions” - Rush

_As the spaceship flew high above the city, Kristen breathed heavily against the window. “I can’t believe I just did that.”  
“Good for you!” Danny encouraged from the passenger’s seat. “Screw this anti-screwing regime. With your help, we’re gonna save the future.”  
The inside of the spaceship was cozy. The backseat was a red leather couch, with cup holders on each side and checkered carpeting across the floor. Hanging from the mirror were two tiny plush dolls: both of men in overalls and hats, but one was red, and the other was green.  
Danny caught her staring and grinned. “These two lil’ dudes are Mario and Luigi. Bros through thick and thin! Just like you and me, right, Ninja Brian?”  
Ninja Brian’s side-eyed glare was vicious.  
“He agrees,” Danny said.  
Kristen felt prickles run down her skin. What in the world was she DOING? Hadn’t her mother warned her against getting into strange men’s cars? Or, spaceship, as it was… She’d been so wrapped up in all the excitement that she hadn’t realized what she was doing. They were strangers. She was in their vehicle.   
And yet…she wanted to trust them fully. Danny wore kindness like a second kimono, and Ninja Brian barely showed any interest in her. Danny made her feel so…wonderful, and spoke openly against the evil of the Council. How could someone so wonderful be bad?  
Kristen wanted to know more. Her curiosity was insatiable, like a sudden hunger for a food she’d only tasted but not fully experienced.   
She was going to trust Ninja Sex Party. For now, at least.  
“Where are we going?” Kristen asked.  
While she’d been in her head, Danny had been whispering hurriedly to Ninja Brian. The ninja was still as stone as he listened to Danny and drove the spaceship through streaks of gray clouds. Finally, after Danny had broke off his speech to breathe, Ninja Brian shrugged.  
“Thanks, Ninja Brian. You always give the best advice,” Danny said, sincere. Then Danny’s bright eyes flitted to Kristen. “We are on our way to find the hottest restaurant in the city.”  
“A restaurant?” Kristen frowned. “In the city? But we’ll be arrested if we show our faces here again. We’re wanted criminals.” I’M a wanted criminal, she thought dizzily.  
“Maybe so,” Danny said with a lazy wave of his hand, “but I’m willing to bet cold, hard cash that I don’t have that they haven’t sent out an alert or something yet. We’d be in the clear.”  
“You don’t know the city like I do. At least, the city under this spell,” Kristen refuted grimly referring to the Council’s Thousand Year Spell. “The Council has constructed Attitude City to be ready and waiting in case of any law-breaking. Our faces are probably plastered all over the news by now.”  
Danny blinked. “Oh. Well, shit.” He furrowed his brow, hand on his chin. “That changes things, then.”  
“Are you hungry?” Kristen asked, concerned.   
“Well, yes, nearly all the time. But there’s something more important at stake here.” Danny pointed right at Kristen, his finger practically inches from her nose. “Because I am taking YOU on a date.”  
Kristen’s mouth went dry. “A…date?”  
“Of course! You didn’t think Danny Sexbang was going to bring you to his bed without showing you that he knows how to treat a lady, did you?” He nodded as he spoke, growing more and more eager. “First dinner, then dancing, then a romantic midnight stroll through the park! Afterwards, we retire to bed, bone like a couple of Wile E. Coyotes, and bam! The future is saved.”  
“Don’t I get a say in this?”  
Danny paused. “You don’t want to?”  
DID she? Every double helix in her genetic code, every drop of blood in her veins, screamed for her to say no. Dates were strictly forbidden in Attitude City. She was already in loads of trouble just for running away with him and Ninja Brian. A date would surely gain them the risk of life in prison.  
Despite it all, she liked him. She thought he was nuts, but she liked him. What guy traveled to the most celibate city in the universe and asked a girl out?   
Apparently, Danny Sexbang of Ninja Sex Party did. And she liked that.   
“I do want to,” Kristen decided firmly with a slight smile. “I just…” Her smile faded. “I’ve never been on a date before.”  
“NEVER?” Affronted, Danny shook his head. “These damn Dick Elders have no IDEA how they’re wronging the people of the future. Or, present. Whatever. Outlawing boning…God, I’m getting the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. But you know what?” He got out of his chair and stood before Kristen. “You’ve spent your life all alone. They’ve kept you from experiencing the joy of human touch, from feeling the electric fury of sex. But I wanna take you to the bone zone. Baby…” He grinned, taking her hands in his. “I wanna show you love.”_  
x.X.x.  
When Maisie woke up, her head was swimming with the new memories. “So that was our first date,” she mused, a tired croak in her voice. “Huh.”  
At least Kristen’s first date had been better than Maisie’s.   
Sophomore year of high school, after practicing in the mirror for days, she finally worked up enough nerve to ask out Quentin Bancroft, who she’d considered, at the time, to be the coolest boy in their grade. Like her, he played guitar and had his own band—his was called Dark Fantasy Madness, while Maisie had been a part of The Herald Angels. His hair had been slick and black like oil, and he’d always had a toothpick in his mouth, even during class. Maisie would never forget the way he would spit his midday toothpick into the pot of the dying plant on Mrs. Wright’s desk during the physics lecture they had together, only to have it replaced by the end of the day.   
Maisie had started off small: she’d asked him to lunch. DiCamillo’s, the local pizza place, was a fifteen-minute walk from school. As they walked together, both of his hands burrowed into the pockets of his ripped jeans ( _so hot_ , Maisie used to think), she tried her best to connect with him. She brought up his band, his favorite songs, Principal Mulligan’s new toupee, but he remained aloof. Even over pizza, he spoke little. The most extensive sentence she could get out of him was his goodbye after they’d eaten. “See you in school,” he’d said, giving her a lazy salute. He hadn’t even offered to walk her home!  
Maisie was shattered. For some stupid reason, that was the thing that pissed her off the most. Their date was supposed to have gone so well. They’d connect over their shared love for music, brush hands when they both reached for the oregano, and then share a kiss in the dim shadows of Maisie’s front porch. It was supposed to have been _perfect._  
But Maisie learned that day that nothing was perfect—especially not love. So she’d thrown herself into her schoolwork, The Herald Angels broke up, and never let herself fall for a boy ever again.  
And then she met Danny Sexbang.  
Maisie groaned and flopped back onto her pillow.   
“Morning, sunshine!”  
She flew back up and blinked at Danny, Ninja Brian, ’Tude Bro, Suzy, and ’Tude Dude, who were all gathered around the kitchen table.   
“Oh,” Maisie said. “Uh, good morning.”  
“You up for some pancakes?” ’Tude Dude asked.  
“Always.” Maisie rose from the couch and neatly folded the throw blanket they’d let her borrow. Suzy had been kind enough to provide some pajamas, too: checkered pajama pants and a long-sleeved black shirt with the words _Go ahead and bug me_ and the emblem of a shiny beetle.   
Maisie took a seat at the table and was immediately handed a heaping plate of buttery pancakes. Just one bite had her shoulders slacking in bliss. “Holy crap, I’m in pancake heaven. Who made these?”  
Wordlessly, Ninja Brian leaned out from his place at the stove and gave a curt wave as he flipped a pancake. Over his usual ninja attire was a flowery pink apron that read in cursive, _Don’t fuck with the cook._   
“He’s sure a man of many talents,” Maisie mused, taking another bite.  
“You don’t know the half of it,” Danny said. “You should see what happens when this guy gets his hands on some String Theory.”  
Ninja Brian threw them a middle finger before turning back and catching a pancake at the end of its flip.  
“How did you sleep?” Danny asked her, sipping from his glass of chocolate milk. “I’ll bet your dreams were _preettyyy_ boring with me not in them.”  
Maisie stopped eating. “Believe it or not, you were in them.”   
“No shit?” He nudged ’Tude Bro next to him with an elbow. “Check it out: I really am the man of her dreams.”  
“Keep dreaming, _man of my dreams_ ,” Maisie said with a raise of her eyebrow. _It’s…er, complicated._ “It was a memory.”  
“Which one?”  
Maisie looked at him slyly. “You asked me on a date.”  
Danny thought for a moment, then a goofy grin spread across his face. “You don’t remember the actual date?”  
“Ah, no, not yet,” Maisie admitted. “I just remember…” She couldn’t help but laugh. “You were going to show me the _bone zone_?”  
“Typical Sexbang phrase,” Suzy said, rolling her eyes.  
“But I remember…” Maisie furrowed her brow, lowering her fork. “You said you were going to show me _love_. And I…Kristen had no idea what that was. Or what it felt like.”  
The table was quiet for a moment, the only sound the sizzle of butter in a hot pan from the kitchen as Ninja Brian cooked.   
“It was the spell that did that to you,” Danny said softly.  
At the mention of the word, Maisie was struck with an influx of memories: a group of hooded strangers sending a burst of purple lightning shooting across the sky; an outfit of a white turtleneck, ugly, long pants, and plain black shoes; signs hung all around the city that outlawed sex. The associated emotions made her dizzy: outrage, sadness, emptiness.   
“The spell,” she repeated. “The Council’s 1000-year spell. I remember it.” She massaged her temples and winced. “Ahh, talk me through all of this, please. This is overwhelming.”  
Trying to mask his pity, Danny said, “Okay, so quick history lesson. For _all_ of you,” he added, seeing the baffled faces of his friends. “In the year 6944 an old, alternate timeline, a group of complete dickheads snuck into Attitude City and cast a 1000-year spell that eliminated any and all forms of physical contact. Pats on the shoulder, highfives, hugs, boning—you name it, they got rid of it. People were _brainwashed_ into thinking it’s _wrong_ to love their neighbor, friend, significant other. They brainwashed people into thinking love was something that didn’t exist.”  
Maisie bit her lip, breaking off a chunk of pancake with her fork. Despite how delicious her breakfast looked and how hungry she was, the tale Danny was telling banished her appetite.  
“So, the spell was in place, and the group of dickheads came together to rule the city as the Council of Dick Elders. The spell continued, untouched, for twenty-five years…and then Ninja Brian and I arrived.”  
“How the hell did you guys go to the future?” ’Tude Bro asked.  
“Spaceship I built,” Danny answered nonchalantly. “We went because 6969 was supposed to be the sexiest year in all of history. But imagine my _befuddlement_ when we show up and sex has been banned? The very same way of life that I have pledged myself to, being denied to the good people of my own city in the future?” Danny shook his head, appearing pained. “Well, I just wasn’t going to stand for it. So we went to the Council to refute their spell.”  
“Who are—were—will be—oh, whatever, these guys?” ’Tude Dude demanded. “Clearly, they weren’t some random assholes that just showed up in Attitude City one day and wanted to take it over. These guys sound like wizards or something.”  
“Whoever they were, they knew we’d come,” Danny affirmed. “They recognized us when we confronted them. They knew that we’d come and break the spell over the Earth. But, unfortunately, we never found out who they were. We were kinda too busy running away from their lasers.”  
“And what did you have to do to break the spell?” Suzy asked.  
Danny’s eyes slid to Maisie, and fogged over with remembrance.  
“People had to have sex.”  
Maisie swallowed. Her place in the tall tale just made everything more complicated.  
“ _Oh_.” Suzy glanced between Maisie and Danny, understanding immediately. “Sorry. ’Tude Dude tried to explain all of this to me earlier, but now I, uh…I get it.”  
Maisie shot Danny a quick look, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. _God_ , this was so weird. What she would give to call Donna and get her advice on how to go about this situation. Even though she was _preeetty_ sure she knew what Donna would say…  
 _Danny Sexbang is real? The man of your dreams?! Girl, what are you waiting for? Jump on him and set the alarm for sexy time!_  
And sure, Maisie could admit it: she had a tiny crush on him. But did _he_ actually like _her_? They were connected only because of something that happened to someone she used to be. But what was Maisie to him now? A liability? A responsibility? A _chore_?  
“Soooooo…” Danny went on. “We broke the spell. Ninja Brian killed the Council and the people of the future were free to bone to their heart’s content. Kristen and I became king and queen of the future, and when I left to return to the past, she stayed behind to rule over Attitude City.”  
“Wait,” Maisie cut in, eyes widening. “I was—Kristen was—a _queen_?”   
“Of course!” Danny’s eyes shone. “And over time, we had everything: castle, crowns, robes, the whole she-bang!”  
“So, we lived together.”  
“I came back and forth. I would live with you for a little bit, and then I would return to the past. It was…it was great.” A shadow fell over Danny’s face. “Then you vanished.”  
Ice blanketed Maisie’s stomach. “Vanished?” she said in a small voice.  
Danny frowned, his fist knocking gently on the table. “I came back one day to help and visit, but when I arrived, the city was in ruins. The citizens had no idea what had happened to you. It was like you had just disappeared.” The fist came up to his face as he anxiously rubbed his chin. “I scoured the whole fucking city, but…I thought I was just…never gonna see you again.”   
_Holy shit._ He looked so _sad_. And sad Danny Sexbang was, quite possibly, the most unsettling thing Maisie had ever seen. He looked like a kicked puppy, and all because Kristen had disappeared at some point in time.   
“So…how did you find me?” she asked.  
Danny smiled. “When we couldn’t find you here in our world—the Imagination Realm—we wondered if someone had taken you and stashed you in the other realm—the Reality Realm. So we put Kevin on the case. Time is different between the realms, so what was years in Reality was only months here.”  
“Just like dreams,” Maisie remarked, her head slightly spinning. “Shit, you looked for me for _months_. That’s…crazy.”  
“But worth it!” Danny encouraged. “Because Kevin, from his tiny headquarters here in the city, managed to scan the whole Earth with a drone of his own creation with his facial recognition software and find you. And shit—when he brought me in to show me, it blew my fuckin’ mind. It was, like, undeniably you. Like, my _soul_ recognized you.”  
Maisie gave him an amused look. “So if your _soul_ recognized me, why was I only hanging out with you in my dreams? Why didn’t you guys just physically come?”  
“We didn’t want to risk it. We had no idea if whoever had taken you was still monitoring you, or something creepy like that. But we figured bringing you here when you were asleep was the safest option. See, anyone can come here to our realm when they’re asleep, because that’s when the boundary between the realms vanishes. So, I showed up one night in your dreams and asked you to come to the city with me.”  
 _That_ was a part she didn’t remember. “What the hell was I dreaming about when you suddenly just waltzed in?”  
“Oh my God, it was the bomb. You were shredding a guitar in front of a huge crowd! With a band of hot girls!”  
So, she was dreaming about playing with The Herald Angels again. Pretty normal dream, now that she thought about it. She could only imagine the look on her dream-self’s face when a tall guy with crazy hair in blue spandex showed up. “And catching me while I was asleep was Kevin’s doing, as well?”  
“Nope! That was all me, baby. One of my special powers.” Danny wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m the man of your dreams. So, I can enter people’s dreams. Boom.”  
Maisie shook her head, unsure if she should laugh or cry at the absurdity of it all.   
“To finish the story,” Danny went on, “clearly, whoever sent Kristen to your world found out that we had found you, and sent the saps to take you…somewhere? I don’t know if I even want to know. Kevin intercepted the message, and we jumped into action, and…here we are.”  
There was quiet as everyone absorbed the story. Maisie wrung her fingers, deep in thought. What was the logical way to handle this situation? She was stranded in another world with people she’d really only known for two days. There were people, _dangerous_ people, looking for her. And she was currently crushing on a guy she’d apparently saved the future with via sex, but he was in love with a version of her that had been a queen and didn’t exist anymore.   
But in that moment, Maisie realized she had two options. Number one: continue sitting and stewing on the completely outrageous situation she’d gotten herself into.  
Or number two: roll with it.  
And quite frankly, she was sick of sitting and stewing.  
“Fuck it,” Maisie proclaimed.   
Everyone at the table looked at her, startled.  
“Fuck it!” she repeated, rising to her feet. “Okay, I get it, I’m rolling with it! I’m on board, I’m balls-deep, I’m on the first train to This-Is-Abso-Fucking-Lutely-Nuts-ville! I’m in!” She gazed around at everyone, her eyes falling on Danny last. “Maybe my soul _does_ know you, and maybe it knew all you other guys, too. Either way—you’ve saved my life, offered me shelter, protected me, and bought me a _kick-ass_ hamburger. You’ve shown me immense kindness, regardless of if I’m Maisie, or Kristen, or fricking _Paula Deen_ for that matter. You guys wanna go find these dicks? Then I’m in. I’m gonna help in any way that I can.” She paused. “Just let me go get dressed first. And shower. And let me grab my magic guitar. Just in case.”  
Suzy, with a smug smile on her face, rose and led Maisie to Suzy’s room for a change of clothes and toiletries.   
As they left the room, Maisie swore she heard ’Tude Bro whisper, “Holy shit, Danny, do you have a _boner_ right now?”


End file.
